Today I will be taking on the various denizens of the supernatural world that threaten our very existence as a species. Or, you know, would if they existed. Whatever. I'm not too proud to rate things that probably don't exist. Hell, I rated hippos, and I'm not 100% convinced they're not actually robots.
Blood sucking fiends, vampires have a vast array of supernatural powers with which to overwhelm their opponents. On the other hand, they also have a nearly as vast array of weaknesses. Now, some of their weaknesses are pretty acceptable. They can be killed by decapitation or a stake through the heart, but I can't really mock them for that, since those things also kill me. On the other hand, they are unable to look at crosses, cross running water, cross a threshold uninvited.... Oh, and the sun kills them, so they're vulnerable to being outdoors about 50% of the time. Oh, and lets not forget garlic. Seriously, it's quite possible that vampires did exist, but went insane trying to keep track of all their vulnerabilities after half their numbers were wiped out in the great meatloaf fiasco. All in all, vampires just aren't that scary. Plus seriously, vampires would be a lot cooler if they just completely banned women from writing books about them. 6/18.
Demons are the rockstars of the world of darkness. Well, I guess technically Marilyn Manson is the rockstar of the world of darkness, but compared to demons he's The Partridge Family. These things have a wide and often disgusting range of powers, from possessing people to taking on corporeal form and eating them. As for weaknesses, they're just plain unreliable. Sure, a cross might repel a demon, or it might cause the demon to laugh mockingly and make a long, gothy speech that makes you wish you were dead before it, well, grants your wish. The fundamental flaw with demons is that they are kind of a big giveaway. I mean, if a ravening demon is about to eat you, that pretty much answers the whole religion question. As long as you repent before it can finish killing you, the demon has pretty much given you a free ticket up to heaven. All in all, being attacked by a demon would have so many fascinating philosophical implications that it might be worth it. You know, unless it's one of those sneaky, subtle demons that acts primarily through human dupes. That would just be unpleasant. 18/22.
I'm pretty sure these are fictional creatures invented by cavemen to terrify children into unquestioning obedience. Later years brought superior child-scaring devices, capable of fitting under beds and into closets, and thus more able to invade the childs world. I mean, after a while, children are going to start wondering how the dinosaur even knows how late they're up, but a monster that lives under your bed? Obviously it knows exactly when you're in bed. And it'd better not be later. Still, the dinosaur myth carries a sense of epic grandeur that is missing from other, smaller terrors of the night. Plus, I bet you could go down a t-rex's throat still alive, if you were quick and agile. Then you could punch your way out of it from the inside, and all your friends would be super-impressed. 197,000/200,000.
At first, the cursed doll concept seems totally ridiculous, but that's because movies with cursed dolls are generally not available to anyone who actually owns dolls. I bet if you showed those movies to a child with a collection of similar dolls, the kid would find it pretty scary. I guess these dolls have superhuman strength to make up for their lack of leverage, since otherwise they wouldn't be very challenging in a fight. The problem with these dolls is that ultimately, they're just too destructible. I mean, they have all the weaknesses of a doll, except for mindlessness and total immobility. Admittedly, those are certainly a doll's biggest weaknesses, but most dolls are also vulnerable either to fire or crushing, neither of which is all that tough to arrange for a shin-high opponent. It would be kind of cool to capture some cursed dolls and make them run mazes and stuff. 3/75.